« Back to Glossary Index

He’s literally me

It was not the face of a benevolent noble, a dangerously renowned temptress, or that of a mighty archmage who stared at the scribe. Instead, it was the very tired face of a quite normal man.

“Who… are you?” The Scribe asked, supremely confused.

“Yes,” the man smiled sadly at the Scribe, pausing to let the word hang in the air,” I’d imagine you wouldn’t remember me. I used to be the Lord Banker.”

The Scribe’s jaw dropped.

The Lord Banker had disappeared so long ago. He had been accused of murdering his own wife and practicing dark magic.

“I spent my youth as a regular man, a lower aristocrat. Sworn into the complacency of a mundane job, that of a banker. My marriage was arranged with a woman I couldn’t care less about. With a job that slowly killed me inside. So I became a jester.”

Complacency Kills

The Lord Banker paused for effect, a toothy grin across his face, “and a murderer. I committed atrocities because this whole world is but a comedy, a farce, a dream I shall wake up from at any point.”

His smile evaporated, “Or so I dared believe in the last fifteen years. I was once, like you, yearning to fit in but I realized just how uncaring the world is.”

A harsh tone overcame his voice, as he stared the Scribe in the eye, “This is our true enemy: Complacency. I had to break out.“

He stopped, looked at the arena, and continued with a much softer lilt, “But my time as this identity has come and gone.” There was a light nod from the man, “and now, I must wear someone else’s face.”

The Scribe, glancing at the door over his shoulder nervously, “…Why… why …” he stuttered, panicking, “are you…admitting all this?”

“Because it’s completely pointless, my friend. That’s the beauty of it, even if you were to go blabber about it, nobody would believe you,” the Lord Banker grinned wickedly, “After all…” He put on a mask, taking the appearance of the Scribe, though the grin did not fade.

“I am literally you, too. This whole confession, like everything else, has meant nothing…” His eyes gleamed, murderous…

Race

Human

Class

Jester 3/Warlock 2/Assassin 10/Black Dog

Ability Scores

5 Str 14/Dex 12/Con 10/Int 16/Wis 8/Cha 16

Skills

Bluff 4, Craft(Poisonmaking), Craft(Drugs), Craft(Alchemy), Disguise 4, Hide 8, Move Silently 8, Perform(Comedy) 6, Sleight of Hand 4

Equipment

A handaxe, a Chainshirt, a dagger, a shield

Flaws

Shaky, Murky Eyed

Goal

Yes, I went there. This build is pure distillation of the “He’s literally me” trope. Be it the Joker, Bateman, the Driver, Nightcrawler, Light Yagami. You name it, you can find some of the character’s aspect in this.

You’re extremely versatile as you’re not only a capable spell caster but a masterful melee combatant and more. Possessing the best Death Attack, as well as the ability to slay people with heart attacks you’re extremely effective at dispatching foes. Let’s not forget the ability to effectively deploy explosions, poisons, fists, and any melee weapons to dispatch adversaries you are the perfect murderer.

Not only that, but you’re a strong party face & an excellent skillmonkey.

As said, your versatility as a Literally Me Jester is second-to-none. After all, life’s a comedy – laugh it up.

Level Distribution

Level	Class	HD	Feat	Special
1	Jester	6	Mercantile Background, Least Dragonmark, Willing Deformity, Deformity(Madness)	Jester’s Audacity +1, Jester’s Performance, Fascinate, Inspiring Quip
2	Jester	1d6	Deflect Arrow	–
3	Jester	1d6	Obtain Familiar	Taunt
4	Warlock	1d6	–	Eldritch Blast 1d6, Beguiling Influence, +1 Int
5	Warlock	1d6	–	Detect Magic, Summon Swarm
6	Assassin	1d6	Craven	Sneak Attack +1d6, Death Attack, Poison Use
7	Assassin	1d6	–	+1 Save vs Poison, Uncanny Dodge
8	Assassin	1d6	–	Sneak Attack +2d6, +1 Int
9	Assassin	1d6	Improved Unarmed Strike	+2 Save vs Poison
10	Assassin	1d6	–	Sneak Attack +3d6, Improved Uncanny Dodge
11	Assassin	1d6	–	+3 Save vs Poison
12	Assassin	1d6	Improved Familiar	Sneak Attack +4d6, +1 Int
13	Assassin	1d6	–	+4 Save vs Poison, Hide in Plain Sight
14	Assassin	1d6	–	Sneak Attack +5d6
15	Assassin	1d6	Darkstalker	+5 Save vs Poison
16	Black Dog	1d6	–	Heir’s Mark, Improved Hospitality, +1 Int
17	Black Dog	1d6	–	Dhurinda’s Trick
18	Black Dog	1d6	Ability Focus(Death Attack)	Create Poison, Refine Poison
19	Black Dog	1d6	–	Empower Poison, Lost in the Crowd
20	Black Dog	1d6	–	Dhurinda’s Touch, +1 Int

« Back to Glossary Index